The other day I came across a staggering number: 70 percent of married folks admitted to cheating on their spouse. Seventy percent! That means if you have four people in a room, three of them currently have a cheating spouse. This number got me thinking about infidelity. Is there any way to curb it? Or is this just a natural phenomena?
The deeper questions could leave me pondering for days, but the real question is: Do these people not know? I have spoken to many people of varying age, location, and background, who all say they had no idea their spouses were cheating. Of course, there are almost always red flags when a cheater is in action (unless they have perfected their craft), but the trick is to recognize these signs early. The sooner you can communicate with your partner and explore the reasons for these changes in your relationship, the sooner you can get to the bottom of what is really happening. What are some of these red flags? Here are 4 signs your partner might be cheating:
- They're Secretive If you have noticed your partner being secretive, it might be a sign they are cheating. Are they keeping things from you? Seeming distant? Lying about little things that they never used to lie about before? Or perhaps you are hearing more excuses than usual. They're flaking out on plans you’ve had for weeks because they “have to work late again” or “made other plans.” Secrecy is a common sign of cheating, and, if left unaddressed, it can be the breaking point of trust in a relationship.
- Making or Receiving Lots of Phone Calls Cell phones are the best way to catch a cheater in action. Are they taking or making a lot of calls? Sending lots of text messages? Maybe they leave the room when they take a call or hide their phone from you so you can’t see who they are texting. These can all be signs of cheating. You can casually ask, “who was that on the phone?” and watch their reaction. If they answer with, “umm” or “uhh,” divert eye contact, and/or spout out a suspicious or unfamiliar name, they may not be telling you the truth.
- Sudden New BehaviorMy mother always used to say, “beware of a man who suddenly starts starts going to the gym.” While it’s good to be healthy, and if they've been talking about getting fit, there should be no cause for alarm, especially if your partner wants to get healthy with you. But if they are suddenly changing their appearance, have a new after-work routine, are coming home late, or have changed their behavior drastically, it may be a sign that they are cheating.
- Accusing You of Cheating This is a strange phenomena, but sometimes cheaters will start accusing their significant other of cheating. It’s a defense mechanism that is spurred out of a guilty conscience. If your partner starts accusing you of cheating, it’s a good time to start questioning their motives. Why do they suddenly think you are cheating? Maybe it is the pot calling the kettle black.
How do you spot a cheater? Let us know on our Facebook page.