Living in the age of multimedia communication has its perks. There’s something very satisfying about finding the right emoji to express how you're feeling. But it also comes with challenges that daters from previous generations never had to deal with. Every way you talk to your romantic interests (email, phone, text, or in person) comes with its own set of unspoken social rules. If you’re awkward on any of these platforms, you risk sending the wrong signals. And there’s no social minefield more perilous than texting.If you want to text your dates without harming your relationships, follow these tips.
1. Don’t Mix Up Daters
If you have an active social life, you might get a few people texting you a day. It’s likely you’ve gotten a “What’s up?” text from a number you don’t recognize —or have programmed into your phone. You could make an educated guess at who is texting you. But saying “Nothing much Jennifer” when you’re actually talking to Heather could put the emergency brakes on a possibly budding relationship. Before you reply to anyone, make sure you know who you’re talking to. When in doubt, just check their number with a reverse phone lookup. You can plug in a number and find out who is actually texting you.
2. Text Sober
You probably have buddies who think they’re at their wittiest after they’ve downed their third craft beer. If you or anyone you know regularly commits this texting faux paus.remind them of this indisputable fact: If drunk dialing is a bad idea, then drunk texting is about 50 times worse. When you drunk dial someone, that person can at least reasonably tell that you’re drunk by your slurred words. They might take pity on you and give you a pass. But when you text drunken nonsense, you just come off as sloppy..
So remember this on your night out: drunk texts are junk texts.
3. Think Haiku, Not A Novel
Texting is a medium that rewards brevity. It’s light and casual. It uses abbreviations and funny pictures. Trying to say something big and complex through a bunch of texts will make you seem like a weirdo. If you absolutely must say something that ends up as a paragraph-long explanation, then you should probably just call the person. Trying to type so much on your phone is just a waste of everyone’s time..
4. Offer Compliments, But Don’t Fish For Them
Ladies, your “Ugh, I look like a wreck today” routine is as transparent as a freshly polished windshield. Fellas, no one likes to hear how awkward you were with girls in high school. Don’t knock yourself down over text, with the expectation that someone you’re dating will build you back up.
If you want to express appreciation for how awesome/fun/hot your date is, that’s one thing. Everyone likes receiving compliments. But there’s no need to throw out some insecurity as bait for reeling in some praise.
5. Nothing Serious
Keep in mind that texting is an informal way of chatting. It’s nearly impossible to have a serious, meaningful conversation through text. So don’t even try.
Here’s a handy guide to help you decide whether you should even be having that conversation via chat.
- Exchanging witty banter: Perfect.
- Planning your next date: OK.
- Having the “So, what are we?” talk: No way.
- Breaking up: Forget about it.
If there’s even a remote possibility that the conversation could end in anger or tears, it’s better to call or meet face to face.
Text And Prosper
It’s a relationship jungle out there. You need every possible edge to get ahead. Having a tight text game might just be the ace in the hole you need to win over the hearts of 21st-century daters.