How do you know when to text or call her? How much alcohol is acceptable to have on a date? How do you know if you should kiss her at the end of a date? These common questions perplex men, and women everywhere wish they knew the answers. Don’t worry, below we’ll clear up the confusion and break down the rules of dating etiquette. Dating etiquette is more relevant than ever! Gents, manners matter and how you perform these manners could determine whether or not you get that second date. Follow these dating etiquette rules and you will woo your date by showing her that 21st century gentlemen do exist!
Before the Date
With the advent of technology, there is much uncertainty about when it is appropriate to call or text to ask a woman out on a date. The best way to ask a woman out on a date is in person, but if this is not an option, man up and call her. While texting can emotionally protect you from rejection and mask your nervousness, a phone call shows that you can take the lead and are confident. Furthermore, a phone call allows for better communication. UCLA professor Albert Mehrabian discovered that, “ 58 percent of communication is through body language, 35 percent through vocal tone, pitch, and emphasis, and a mere 7 percent through content of the message.” During the call, verbally confirm the date’s location and time to avoid confusion.
During the Date
Having good manners on a date does not mean you should be stiff or formal; good manners should not even be overtly noticeable. Rather, they should appear as something that comes as second nature. Simply be a gentleman by opening the door, pulling out her chair, and actively listening to her. These are gestures that she will appreciate. Greet her with a hug and do not under any circumstances high five her throughout the night.
Concentrate on her and be polite to others around you. A simple “please” and “thank you” will take you far. When on a dinner date, there is nothing more unattractive than a man who is rude to the waiter or waitress. Be nice, be yourself, and be polite!
Table manners: Ever have those nightmares where a spaghetti strand unknowingly dangles from your mouth or you have something stuck in your teeth on a date? Table manners matter! In fact, nine in ten women would turn down a second date because of bad table manners.
Don’t start eating before your date’s food has come and pace yourself during the meal. This is not a race guys. If you find yourself not being able to converse in conversation because your mouth is constantly full, you’re probably eating too fast. Remember to cut your food into small bites, keep your cell phone out of sight, use a napkin, chew with your mouth closed, and don’t order finger food.
We all have weird and disgusting habits, but keep these private. It’s not quirky and definitely not attractive to burp at the table or talk while food is spilling out of your mouth.
Alcohol intake: We all get nervous for dates, but this is not an excuse to drink excessively. What do women think of drinking on a date? Dr. Gilda Carle says, “If you consume a lot more alcohol than your date, they are likely to think you have a drinking problem. It sends a message that you really don't give a damn about the other person's feelings or impressions of you.” So how much is too much? If you want a glass of wine or a beer, go ahead! If you want another one, order it! But I suggest that after the second drink you stop. Not only is drinking a slippery slope, but it impairs your judgment and can give her the idea that you’re not looking for something serious.
Who Should pay? On the first date, guys should pay all of it. No ifs, ands, or buts! When you pay, it shows the woman that you’re stable and interested in her. As you begin to date her more frequently, the rules change a bit. During the first three months, it is okay to split the bill. During this time, if she initiates the date and wants to pay her part, let her!
After the Date
The date has ended, both of you linger at the door and she plays with her keys. You panic, stick your hand out and awkwardly say, “Thanks. I had a good time.” Oh come on, just kiss the girl! If you’ve had a good time on the date and you think she has as well, go in for the kiss!
The kiss is really important for a woman and can differentiate between being friend zoned and possibly partaking in a serious relationship with her. Relax, make sure you’re in a comfortable place and let the moment happen organically. But how do I know if she even wants a kiss? Pay attention to her body language and don’t put so much pressure on yourself!
When to call and when to text: After the date, send a thank you text to establish that you have enjoyed yourself and would like to see her again. The text can be short, simple, and sweet; it’s just a simple gesture to get her attention. At this point, do NOT have a long detailed conversation over text, don’t use pet names, and stay away from emojis.
If you want to see her again, wait until the next day to ask for another date. If you don’t want to see her again don’t leave her hanging! Be straightforward and say something like, “it was nice to meet you, but I did not feel a connection.”
Men, if you want to impress your date, follow these universal and updated etiquette tips! Next time you’re on a date or are about to ask someone on a date, take a minute and think about how you’re presenting yourself. Be a gentleman, be a man, and show her that good manners still exist!
What first date etiquette do you follow? Comment below!