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We’ve all been there; an embarrassing situation, a stupid mistake, a moment you wish you could take back. Everyday I meet with clients at Cupid’s Cronies who have made some mistakes. There is a sense of shame, anxiety, or fear that creeps up on us when we make mistakes. But the key is to not let them define you. A few months ago, I read an article about a famous news anchor who had a panic attack on live television. He was completely embarrassed, thinking this attack would cost him his dignity and his career. But instead, something interesting happened: he started receiving emails and letters, he was supported by his co-workers, his boss recommended he take time off. The panic attack- something that is completely human, something that was completely out of his control- had actually created a line of dialogue for him. He took time off, he got into meditation, he learned to center himself and address some deeper issues, and now he continues to be a prominent journalist and reporter on major television networks. The mistake didn’t define him. The mistake actually made him stronger.

Here are three tips for not letting your mistakes ruin you:

1. Allow the Mistake

Part of being human is making mistakes. There is no such thing as perfect. If you let go of perfection and realize that sometimes mistakes will occur, you will find yourself a lot less stressed out. As Rafiki from The Lion King says, “it doesn’t matter, it’s in the past.” If you can’t fix it, you have to let it go. Realize that the mistake was made and try hard to ensure the mistake is not made again.

2. Find the Humor

If you can laugh about it, you can move through it. If you made a dumb mistake, try to find the humor in it. Laughter really is the best medicine. So think about the mistake, laugh about it, then release it. You will be surprised how laughing about something is a good step in letting it go.

3. Let It Go

Holding on to mistakes, anger, resentment, and negative emotions is no way to move forward in your life. One of the biggest blocks in finding love is holding on to the past. If there was a mistake made (either by you or by your ex boyfriend or girlfriend) now is the time to let go of that mistake. It happened. You can’t go back and change it. It is what it is. So let it go, move on, and don’t look back. You can only live in the here and now and you will be surprised how many beautiful doors open once you close the old door.

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