Dating experts know that creating attraction before you even speak to a woman is all about confidence. This is something that comes naturally to some men but is often something that others need to work on. So how is it done? How do you make women attracted to you before you ever speak to them? Forget all of the gimmicks and B.S. tricks. What you’re after is the appearance of simple, natural confidence. The last thing you want is to come across as the guy who is poorly implementing tips from a training series he just bought from some douchy, self-proclaimed ‘Pick-up Artist’. Maybe that stuff works on weak women with very little self-esteem, but an intelligent, confident woman can smell that garbage from a mile away, and that’s the true prize. Right?
First Impressions: Setting Yourself Up For Success
The effect of great first impressions in the world of sales, marketing & branding are undeniable. So, why would it be any different in the world of dating? Whether you realize it or not, you are essentially marketing yourself to women every time you step out the door with the intentions of meeting someone. And how your ‘brand’ is perceived directly affects whether or not you make the sale (get the girl). So, today we are going to take your current marketing strategy and work it into a winning model, along with just a bit of rebranding.
Appearance (your brand)
None of what I said above means that you need to go get a complete wardrobe makeover or even hit the gym (unless that is something that will help you feel better and more confident). Just be yourself and be comfortable with who you are; there is no reason why you shouldn’t be!
1st Tip For Attracting Women Without Saying A Word:
Your attire should be well put together, but don’t try to be someone you’re not.
You will most likely feel the most comfortable and confident dressing like yourself. So, if you have gotten into the habit of putting on clothing that doesn’t quite fit your personality just to try and look cool when you go out, stop doing that this instant. If you are a khakis and polo shirt kind of guy, wear some nice khakis or slacks with a button down or polo shirt. Forget about the Ed Hardy gear and skinny jeans; it’s not you and it shows. Don’t be a poser. Confidence is hard to achieve when you feel out of place, and dressing like someone else definitely makes you feel out of place. Also, when you are not being yourself, if you do end up attracting someone, there is a great possibility that it will be short-lived because of incompatibility (you were false advertising outside of your true market). In summary: Dress like a refined version of your true self so that you feel comfortable in your own skin and attract the right kind of women for you. For inspiration and examples, check out our Pinterest page.
Presentation (Visual Marketing)
How you behave is the most important factor in displaying confidence. Everything from your body language to where you choose to position yourself in a room affects whether women read your signals as a self-assured man or a scared introvert.
More Tips For Attracting Women Without Using Words:
1. Don’t be a wallflower.
If you choose to take a seat in a dark corner of the establishment that you frequent, not only are you limiting your visibility, but when women do notice you all alone over there, they automatically pick up on the insecure vibe (if this is you, check out our expert advice, How To Eliminate Approach Anxiety, as well). Instead, put yourself front and center. If you’re in a bar, try to position yourself in the highest traffic area, like where the bartender takes the majority of his/her orders. This puts you in eye-line of most everyone and creates future conversation opportunities.
2. Smile and Enjoy Yourself
If you’re alone, strike up a conversion with a fellow patron or the bartender. Tell jokes and have fun. This is extremely attractive to women. It makes you a commodity and also much more approachable from their side of things (remember, they get nervous too). No one wants to go over and talk to the sullen character in the room. If you are out with your friends, it’s even better. Don’t just sit there like a zombie on your smartphone. Keep the conversation light-hearted and flowing so that you are both smiling and having a good time. If there are activities available like billiards or darts … anything that you and your friends enjoy doing together. Be sure to do it. It will help to make the fun vibe that you are now giving off all the more natural and real because you really are having fun, and that is attractive.
3. Don’t Fidget and Stand Like a Man
Fidgety, jerky movements are a dead giveaway that you’re nervous. It’s the kind of unconfident behavior that turns most women off. Maybe you are nervous, but we don’t want anyone else to know it and they don’t need to know. Calculate your movements the same way you might think before you speak. When you do move, move with a purpose; it’s all of the second guessing yourself that creates these unflattering movements.
When you’re standing, stand with your feet about shoulder width apart with your hands at your sides. Get those hands out of your pockets and try not to cross your arms (this is a defensive stance). You should also try to control your eye movement. If your eyes are darting around all over the place, it shows that you are intimidated by the world around you. So, slow down and focus on one thing at a time.
It might feel overwhelming, trying to absorb all of this now, but trust me, it will get easier. You’ll go from putting on the appearance of confidence to actual confidence quite quickly.
4. Stop Chasing
Attractive women tend to have guys hitting on them all the time. They hear the same old, tired lines and are frankly, bored of it. So don’t be that guy. You and your friends know that your goal is to meet someone, but no one else outside this tight circle should be aware of this fact … especially the ladies whose attention you’re vying for.
This brings me back to another version of the shifty eyes. If you are googly eyeing every woman in the place, they will pick up on it and you’ll come across as desperate (also not attractive to most women). So again, slow down your eyes. If you do come into eye contact with a woman who interests you, hold her gaze and give her a little smile while you wait for her to look away. Do not break the gaze by looking down or up and away, it’s a sign of submissiveness and you need to present confidence. If she ends up making a staring match out of it (very rare … but probably a good thing for you) and you can’t take it anymore, look away to the side, like something else just got your attention.
Instead of giving off that ‘out on the prowl’ vibe, just focus on enjoying yourself. This will generate her interest in you, which gives you the upper-hand when you finally make your approach (If you follow all the above advice, she may even be the one to approach you!)
A Quick Recap
So, let’s look at the five key points behind your newly revamped self-marketing strategy:
- Dress and act like yourself.
- Put yourself in the center of the action.
- Smile and have a great time!
- Move with confidence and a purpose.
- Don’t go in hot and start hitting on the women around you.
Now get out there and show these ladies you are the brand they want to buy!
Still have more questions? Talk to one of our expert, dating coaches today! Click Here or give us a call toll-free 1.855.62.CUPID
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