Are you in a relationship? Maybe you have a girlfriend at the moment but somehow it doesn’t feel right. Maybe you are caught in a relationship that gets worse and worse every single day. In case you reached a stage in your life at which you doubt that ending up in a relationship was the right decision for you, I want you to forget your frustration and anger for a moment. What I want you to do now is to ask yourself a question that might feel uncomfortable at first, but that has the power to eventually save your relationship.
Here is the question I want to ask you:
“What did you do to make your relationship work?”
It is easy to blame your partner for the misery you are in but it is far more powerful to rethink your own decisions and to ask yourself if you have done anything to deserve a happy relationship. I am living in a happy relationship and whenever someone tells me that his dream relationship became a nightmare, I am asking him if he has done the following ten things that I am going to share with you right now.
I shared the following ten points with a guy who wanted to leave his wife and one month afterwards he wrote me a thank you e-mail, in which he told me that his relationship became the fulfilling experience that he always dreamed of.
Instead of pretending that he did everything to maintain a happy relationship, he started to do everything he could to transform his relationship into the wonderful experience he wanted. Let’s have a look at what he did.
1. Don’t Take Her for Granted
I am together with my girlfriend for about a year and I already feel that I take a lot of things for granted. I take it for granted when she makes me a coffee and brings it to my table when I am writing and I take it for granted that she supports me every day.
Deep down I know that I shouldn’t take those things for granted and that I should appreciate her for being the amazing girlfriend she is. From time to time I do this and whenever I show my respect and my appreciation for the small things she does, our relationship gets better.
Don’t make the mistake and take your girlfriend for granted. Every human being wants to feel appreciated. Give her this appreciation and your relationship will get better.
2. Show Her that You Love Her
Telling your girlfriend that you love her can either be the most beautiful thing on earth for her, or nothing but a sentence that you said one million times before. Sometime saying it is not enough. Actions speak louder than words.
Show her that you love her. Hug her, give her a tender kiss on the head and kiss her with passion. Once she feels that you really love her, it doesn’t really matter how often you tell her that you love her. She will know it.
3. Have a Life Outside of the Relationship
In order to maintain a relationship it is important that you spend a lot of time together. However, one of the worst mistakes that so many men make is that they start to live for their girlfriend. They think that if they give up all their hobbies and interests and focus 100% on the girl they love, she won’t leave him.
Well, this is the worst thing you can do. The last thing a woman wants is a man who only lives for her. Women want men who have an interesting life. They want a guy who is confident to follow his own path.
No woman wants to have the feeling that her boyfriend would commit suicide once the relationship is over, because he doesn’t have anything else to live for. If you want to have a happy relationship you should have a life and let your girlfriend be part of it.
4. Have a Vision in Life
In the same way as you should have a life outside of your relationship, you should also have a vision. Even though a lot of men believe that women are drawn towards successful people because of their money and status, the truth is that they are drawn towards them because they have the mindset of a visionary.
Having a vision in life shows the woman you are with that you are ambitious, that you want to achieve something and that you want to create the best life for you and her that you possibly can create.
Those are all characteristics that are extremely attractive. I guarantee you that your girlfriend will respect and admire you more, once you have shared your vision with her. As a result of that, your relationship will become better.
5. Listen to Her
Not listening to women is one of the biggest dating mistakes and relationship mistakes at the same time. Some guys already mess up a relationship before it started by not listening to the girl they are on a date with and others make the same mistake later on.
One major complaint I hear from a lot of women is that their boyfriend doesn’t listen to them. Don’t be another one of those guys who ruin their relationships because they don’t take the time to listen to their girlfriends.
Women are very emotional and they will usually share every emotion they have with you. They will do it either consciously through words or subconsciously through their actions. It is your job to listen to her words and to become aware of her actions. In case you do that you will know exactly what you have to do to turn a sinking ship into a fulfilling relationship.
6. Take Her on Adventures
At the beginning every relationship is exciting. I have never met a person who told me that the first couple of weeks of his new relationship weren’t amazing. However, the feeling of excitement and novelty will slowly but steadily decrease.
At least, that’s what’s happening in most relationships. The daily routine kills your relationship and after a few months the only exciting thing you do together is to watch a different movie every night. That’s not how it should be and that’s not how it will be, if you decide to take your girlfriend on adventures.
Whenever you feel that your relationship is not exciting anymore, it is time to pack your bags and to take her on an adventure. Take her on a road trip, go climbing, go swimming and travel to another country. Doing exciting things will make your relationship exciting.
7. Be Her Tower of Strength
Every woman dreams about being together with a guy who provides her with a shoulder to lean on. A woman wants to have someone in her life that she can lean on to, when her world crashes down.
Are you her tower of strength?
In case you don’t really care when your girlfriend is upset and in case you are becoming more emotional in those situations than she does, you don’t have to wonder why your relationship isn’t happy.
It is your job as a man to be her tower of strength and to be there for her when she needs you. If you do that, she will feel safe and secure with you and in the relationship she has with you.
8. Continue Dating
One of the most important things you have to do in a relationship is to continue dating. No, you shouldn’t cheat on your girlfriend and date other women. You should continue to go on dates with the girl you are together with.
Going on dates, even if you are together for years, is a sure way to avoid boredom in a relationship. By going on dates all the exciting feelings of the time when you had your first dates come back. The decision to go on dates will give you the necessary private time that you need to maintain your relationship.
9. Take Care of Her
I know from my own experience how much I love it when my girlfriend takes care of me. I absolutely enjoy it when my girlfriend shows me through her actions that she really loves me. However, the feeling of being taken care of is not a feeling that only men want to experience.
In the same way as you want to be taken care of, your girlfriend wants to experience the same from time to time. The small things that you do can have a big impact on your relationship. Making her a cup of tea and hugging her can be more powerful than every expensive present could ever be.
10. Realize What You Have
Do you know that we human beings always want what we don’t have? If you are single you want to have a relationship and if you are in a relationship you constantly think about how it would be to be single again.
Don’t let those thoughts confuse you. Look at your girlfriend and realize what you have. Realize that you have everything that others can only dream about. All you have to do to make this experience the most wonderful time of your life is to put the steps I shared with you into practice.