In any relationship, someone always has to make the first move. However, you might find it a bit difficult to make the first move for a variety of reasons. Perhaps you are the shy type and are afraid of being rejected. Or maybe you are unsure when to make the first move. Some people are also new to dating and may still be getting their feet wet in uncertain waters. If any of this sounds like you, take heart because it is actually possible for you to learn how to make the first move. The first step in making the first move is to check your motivation for wanting to date the person in question. Is he/she your type as far as physical attraction goes? Have your friends told you stories about them that have piqued your interest? Does your intended carry himself well? If so, then it may be a good idea to make the first move to ask that person out on a date.
Now, your next challenge is deciding how to make the first move. You definitely will need to approach your potential date either in person or through emails/social networking. Making the first move this way is good because you want that person to gain a favorable first impression of you. But remember to temper your expectations and energy. Be casual and just ask that person if they are open to going on a date. This isn’t the same as asking, “When do you think we could start dating?” When you ask the other person if they are open to dating you, you are giving them a choice. This is a gracious way of entering a potential dating relationship. If the other person doesn’t want to date you, you can just say, “I understand, and it’s okay.”
If this is your first time asking someone out on a date, you probably have butterflies in your stomach and a mouth that seems to be filled with cotton at the mere prospect. But making the first move even if you feel awkward about it is definitely a positive, because sometimes you need to gain more practice at this stage of the dating process. You will notice that you are not asking the other person to marry you – you are just asking them out on a date. If the other person declines, at least you now know that you have the courage to ask other people out on dates. It does get easier over time.
If you seem to have difficulty making the first move, one possible solution is to practice your “script” with someone close to you. Your friend can analyze why you seem to be having difficulties with this and perhaps recommend changes in your approach. This can be very helpful so that you won’t find it quite so intimidating in the future to make the first move and go on that valuable first date.