You know that friend who has the charming quirk of wanting everything to be just so?  She organizes her closet by color, season and trend – shoes perfectly aligned and everything in its place?  Is that beautiful and amazing friend also perpetually single?  Yeah, that’s no coincidence.  Sometimes the finicky habits that serve us well during the complicated projects at work, meticulous home renovations, or even just daily chores can unfortunately bleed over into our dating lives to self-defeating results.

The picky dater is not an unknown breed, but with the overabundance of singles finding one another online, it might be holding some of us back from being able to settle down long enough to find a loving match.  It’s way too easy to get caught clicking in circles for hours on end, sifting through the endless possibilities for dates.  That’s not to say that you shouldn’t take advantage of the plethora of handsome and beautiful dating options so conveniently cataloged on our screens.  But don’t let that cloud your instincts or hold you back from committing to a great guy or gal just because you haven’t ticked off every box of pre-requisites, Just because there are hundreds more options you could pursue doesn’t mean it’s in your best interest.  There will always be an influx of gorgeous and available singles everywhere you turn; but if you’re serious about finding lasting love and a true relationship, then you have to edit your never-ending list of must-haves and will-nots into a concise plan of basic necessities for love and romance.

Six-pack abs and flawless skin will fade away, but the ability to share a laugh at an inside joke or find the perfect words of comfort during times of pain are the enduring qualities for a successful relationship.  Sure, you might have an ultimate fantasy of the 6’2” knight in shining armor who looks a dream and has every attractive hobby that aligns with your fantasy – but those are superficialities don’t apply to reality.  Happiness is first found within.  When you’re satisfied with your life as a single person and truly have all of the joy you need within yourself, your perfect match won’t have to have all of those super-hero qualities, because you’ll already be a kick-ass human yourself.

So remember to loosen up to find love.  Let your guard down.  Find a potential match with true core traits that suit your needs and personality and let yourself be surprised by the extraneous differences that don’t fall into your extraneous checklist.  The best experiences in life often come without preconceptions or weighted expectations – and love is no exception.  Let go and loosen up and soon enough you’ll find yourself settled down with true love!

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