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attraction

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Dressing and Dating

Love to date but stress over the dress?  Are you a clotheshorse without a guidepost when it comes to dating and decorum?  Well, dive into your closets, ladies -- this simple guide, will help you navigate the subtleties of selecting what to wear where and when to wear what.

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Does Age Matter in Dating?

For some people, age is only a number and has no affect on their dating life. But for others, the age of the person they are dating is a quite remarkable factor. In fact, your own age could be affecting your dating life in ways you’ve perhaps not taken into consideration. Some men and women who are in their mid-to-late-20s might like to date people who are much older than them. The attraction could be that an older date may be more financially stable, have a steady career, or have more life experience, all of which are attractive attributes in a long-term partner.

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You're Just Not That Into Him

You’ve been on a first date with a new gentleman, and you’re just not feeling the connection.  Your first impulse may be to cut and run, but sometimes you owe it to yourself and the man in question to hang in there for another date or two.  Keep it simple so as not to heighten anyone’s expectations.  Often times, the best people can make the worst first impressions; whether it’s due to nerves or external influences, sometimes the slow burn is there if you just allow yourself the time to be open to it.

What Attracts Men When You're Out

Ladies, when you’re out on the town and hoping to attract a fellow, remember this old adage: Less is more.  The simplest approach is almost always the most effective.  You’ll be surprised what steady eye contact and a friendly, inviting smile will yield if you’re looking to be picked up at your next social outing.  And be sure to position yourself in an easily accessible location for a man to approach you – no hiding in the corner booth or back in the shadows. If you’re putting yourself out there to meet a new man, and you have an inkling that he might be someone you’re interested in, let him know.  Playing coy can only get you so far and might do more harm than good on the initial meeting.  Subtly implying the prospect of some sort of future intimacy sends the message that dating is something you’d like to do.

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How to venture out of your comfort zone when dating

In the realm of dating, it can be difficult to try something new especially when your comfort zone is…well, comfortable. But sometimes it may be necessary to leave that comfort zone if you intend to find the right life partner through dating. Do consider taking the following steps so that you expand your dating circles as needed. What are you interested in? This does not just mean your hobbies or personal interests – it can also mean your current line of work and other occupations that you have pursued in the past. This helps you assess why your date life seems to have stalled.

Perhaps you only date people who like the same things you do? Or maybe you are only interacting with people from work? If you seem to be stuck in the same rut you may have to consider moving in different social circles to get a better chance of finding eligible people to date.

Do you have a specific belief system, like religion maybe? Not surprisingly, some people are afraid of dating people from other religions. You might be afraid of pursuing someone who belongs to a different religion because you are afraid of what your family and friends may say.

Or perhaps you just don’t want conflict with anyone you date when it comes to life goals based on that belief system. If this sounds like you, it may make sense to seek advice from a counselor in your religious group who understands relationships between two people from different beliefs. Inevitably religion or beliefs can be a deal-breaker or deal-maker especially if you plan on having kids and are wondering which religion or belief system to raise them in.

You might also be stuck in a particular era when it comes to your habits. This means even the simple things about you like your hairstyle, the way you dress, the words you prefer to use, and even the car you drive could reflect how limited your comfort zone is. You may want to ask a close friend or relative if they think your habits need to be “updated”. If yes, you can start examining how your peers seem to have “upgraded” themselves to be more in tune with the times – then start adjusting.

Some people get stuck in their comfort zone because they really don’t know what changes are necessary to be “cool”. If you are planning to date someone who seems to be a bit out of your league, try observing him or her for a while. Check out his or her friends to see why he/she seems to enjoy their company. This is actually a good way to assess if you and your new love interest could possibly be a good match, even before you start dating. You should then check if the changes that are necessary to fit in are really what you believe in yourself. If not, you may have to do some more self-evaluation before you start dating someone who is radically different from you.

 

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