For some people, age is only a number and has no affect on their dating life. But for others, the age of the person they are dating is a quite remarkable factor. In fact, your own age could be affecting your dating life in ways you’ve perhaps not taken into consideration. Some men and women who are in their mid-to-late-20s might like to date people who are much older than them. The attraction could be that an older date may be more financially stable, have a steady career, or have more life experience, all of which are attractive attributes in a long-term partner.
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You’ve been on a first date with a new gentleman, and you’re just not feeling the connection. Your first impulse may be to cut and run, but sometimes you owe it to yourself and the man in question to hang in there for another date or two. Keep it simple so as not to heighten anyone’s expectations. Often times, the best people can make the worst first impressions; whether it’s due to nerves or external influences, sometimes the slow burn is there if you just allow yourself the time to be open to it.
Ladies, when you’re out on the town and hoping to attract a fellow, remember this old adage: Less is more. The simplest approach is almost always the most effective. You’ll be surprised what steady eye contact and a friendly, inviting smile will yield if you’re looking to be picked up at your next social outing. And be sure to position yourself in an easily accessible location for a man to approach you – no hiding in the corner booth or back in the shadows. If you’re putting yourself out there to meet a new man, and you have an inkling that he might be someone you’re interested in, let him know. Playing coy can only get you so far and might do more harm than good on the initial meeting. Subtly implying the prospect of some sort of future intimacy sends the message that dating is something you’d like to do.
Dating is the path to lasting romance, and so it’s with that in mind that we present to you these practical tips to maximize the chemistry in your dating life. A great first date …
1) Is time flexible:
Don’t limit yourself to a specific amount of time for your first date. Choose an activity that allows the opportunity to duck out politely after 20 minutes if things are not going well. On the other hand, if the chemistry is flowing, give yourself the option of extending the date to its natural conclusion. By allowing for flexibility, you’re letting yourself relax with the knowledge that you won’t be trapped into a dinner and movie scenario when you really just want to make an escape.
2) Allows for proximity:
Plan a date that allows for casual physical intimacy. A dinner sitting across from one another can quickly devolve into a job interview if you are physically separated across a table. If you must go to dinner, try sitting side by side to allow for physical interaction and observation of your surroundings. The intention on a date is romance, and it’s perfectly natural to express that through touch if the connection is right.
3) Is externally focused:
Going for a walk along a river or through a beautiful neighborhood takes the pressure off of direct conversation. The talk can flow from observations about your surroundings, and silences won’t feel so uncomfortable when you have beautiful scenery to take in. The act of physical movement is also a natural way to reduce anxiety surrounding the pressure of a first date. When you’re physically active, you’re less inside your own head and able to act more naturally as your true self. You’re also physically burning off any residual nervousness that might be surrounding the anticipation of a new connection.
Other ideas to keep in mind for first date experience:
- Ladies, don’t be afraid to make the first move and be proactive in dating. There is nothing desperate or shameful in being confident about what makes you great catch. By presenting yourself for consideration in dating, you’re showing the world that you value yourself. Most men will find your confidence undeniably attractive and appealing.
- Try following up a first date with a simple text in lieu of a phone call. Sometimes sending a simple text that reads, “You looked beautiful last night,” is more effective than a phone call, which can put pressure on having a drawn out conversation or an immediate response to a compliment. Take your time to choose your words carefully, and craft those notions that create an aura of thoughtful romance.
Many people already know how to ask for a first date – their problem later may be asking for a second date in order to foster a relationship. There are different reasons it can be difficult to ask for a second date. For example, the first date might not have gone well or perhaps something happened that turned off your date. Or maybe your date is just not interested enough in you to agree to a second date. Although there is never any guarantee that your first date will lead to a second, you can stack the odds in your favor so that your date will find you appealing enough to want to spend more time with you. Your first date is crucial if you are looking to date someone for the long term. So be sure to put your best foot forward so that you appear as someone your date would love to be associated with. This means paying extra attention to grooming and style in preparation for your first date. First impressions are really important, no matter what some people might say, so you should make it a point to leave a favorable memory during your first date. This only increases the possibility for a second date – so be sure to keep up the good image on future dates as well. People feel comforted around those who give an air of confidence and control, and this begins with how you present yourself to the world.
Second, do away with any poor moods before you go on a date. It may happen that you asked someone on a first date, but something happened to put you in a bad state of mind right before the date itself. Your foul mood can shoot down any hopes of going on a second date, so be sure to try to put yourself in a more light-hearted state of mind before heading out on your date. No one wants to spend their free time with a mope. If you think that you won’t be able to shake off your funk in time, you can always call or text and ask to move the date to a more favorable time. If your date asks why, simply explain that the timing didn’t work out, but assure them that you are looking forward to seeing them soon so that they do not feel put off.
Third, do ask your date about him or herself on the first date. Not only does this show that you are really interested in your date, but it allows your date to reciprocate by asking questions about you. If your date seems a bit guarded, you can bring down their defenses through self-disclosure. You can say something like, “Isn’t this a great restaurant? I come here as often as I can, because the food is amazing.” Note that you are inviting input with this kind of introduction so that you don’t monopolize the conversation.
Asking someone for a second date can be good if the person you met is someone you truly want to spend more time with. You should make as good an impression on your date as you can so that they will think the same about you. This will smooth the path to an easy second date and beyond to a lasting relationship.