Dating expertsknow that creating attraction before you even speak to a woman is all about confidence. This is something that comes naturally to some men but is often something that others need to work on. So how is it done? How do you make women attracted to you before you ever speak to them? Forget all of the gimmicks and B.S. tricks. What you’re after is the appearance of simple, natural confidence. The last thing you want is to come across as the guy who is poorly implementing tips from a training series he just bought from some douchy, self-proclaimed ‘Pick-up Artist’. Maybe that stuff works on weak women with very little self-esteem, but an intelligent, confident woman can smell that garbage from a mile away, and that’s the true prize. Right?
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how to get a boyfriend
Ladies, when you’re out on the town and hoping to attract a fellow, remember this old adage: Less is more. The simplest approach is almost always the most effective. You’ll be surprised what steady eye contact and a friendly, inviting smile will yield if you’re looking to be picked up at your next social outing. And be sure to position yourself in an easily accessible location for a man to approach you – no hiding in the corner booth or back in the shadows. If you’re putting yourself out there to meet a new man, and you have an inkling that he might be someone you’re interested in, let him know. Playing coy can only get you so far and might do more harm than good on the initial meeting. Subtly implying the prospect of some sort of future intimacy sends the message that dating is something you’d like to do.
We all want to be number one in the eyes of our significant other. It’s part of the Disneyesque fantasy that most of us have been programmed with. This is why I hear the term ‘deal-breaker’ thrown around so haphazardly when it comes to dating a person who has children from a previous relationship. Dating someone with kids (in the hearts & minds of those who have no children) can feel like there is a living, breathing reminder that they are not going to be the number one priority ... front and center at all times. Not only is this type of thinking unfair to single parents out there, but people could be missing out on someone great just because of a few negative, preconceived notions.
Most “dating experts” focus solely on the matchmaking and attraction aspects of their services. They find two people with similar interests, get them together and let them run free in the wind. Simple enough, right? Then why is it that so many wonderful women who get set up with a great guy, do very well during the initial phases of the relationship, only to end up getting burned by little, flying chunks of Goodyear as the guy they want peels down the road towards the sunset and his next girlfriend?
There are many barriers that block us from obtaining loving and lasting relationships. In daily life, the attributes of being independent, assertive and highly intelligent serves people well in their careers and in business. But just because you have a strong grasp in these black-and-white areas of life doesn’t mean those same attributes will serve you well in the subtleties needed in maintaining and loving and equal relationship. Sometimes those admirable personality traits that allow you succeed in business or non-romantic aspects of your social life are what truly hold you back from finding love. Often times, these are unhealed wounds developed in childhood or early relationships as a defense mechanisms or survival techniques – preventing yourself from feeling vulnerable or out of control, which in turn can lead to hurtful feelings of being exposed or weak and therefore less than.
Without even being aware that we’re doing it, we may be throwing up subconscious barriers to receiving love. Change is difficult, both mentally and physically, so the act of moving in a healthier direction naturally throws up a feeling of resistance.
As a reflex, we default to self-protecting behaviors that may not lead to successful relationships – behaviors such as self-sabotage, projection of negative traits onto others and controlling actions, while giving a sense of stability, only foster dysfunctional relationships in the long run.
However, working with a relationship coach can help us break these bad habits that have built up over a lifetime. From an objective perspective, a dating coach can help you recognize the patterns that are holding you back from taking a relationship to a long-term successful level where both partners are happy and fulfilled.
None of us have perfect communication or coping skills, but those of us who are open to recognizing our faults and actively working on them to change for the better will have the most success at finding lasting love.
It may be a scary thought to “turn over the rock” and see what’s underneath with respect to our faults. But, ultimately, that hard work of clearing out the cobwebs will bring a greater peace and openness that will serve you well in all aspects of life.
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