Coming back into the dating scene can be scary, especially if it's been a long time. Whether you're divorced or broke up with your significant other after just a few months of dating, that relationship takes a toll on you psychologically and emotionally because of each experience that was made, happy or unpleasant. Not to mention coming out of a relationship, dating can be awkward at first. As someone who had been in a three-year long relationship, coming out of that heartbreak was definitely the hardest step, and going back into the dating game wasn't easy. I didn't know how to talk, didn't know how to present myself because I lacked the confidence due to the prior relationship, and I made everything awkward for a while. No one wants to deal with that nonsense, so, to ease the tension, I'm hoping this small list of advice will help you on your future dates.
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Love is a strange and wonderful thing. We find ourselves fearing it, yearning for it, and in awe of it. And most of us, single or in a relationship, find it haunting the darkened hallways at the backs of our minds; ever present … always there. Even when we try to suppress it, thoughts of love incessantly push back, trying to make their way to the surface and make their presence known. When we are in a relationship, we wonder at the quality of our relationship with our partner. We wonder if we have found love or if one day we love them and they, us. Amazingly enough, even when we know that we love someone, it is still on our minds. We still wonder at its details and occasionally try to quantify it with reasoning.
We all want to be number one in the eyes of our significant other. It’s part of the Disneyesque fantasy that most of us have been programmed with. This is why I hear the term ‘deal-breaker’ thrown around so haphazardly when it comes to dating a person who has children from a previous relationship. Dating someone with kids (in the hearts & minds of those who have no children) can feel like there is a living, breathing reminder that they are not going to be the number one priority ... front and center at all times. Not only is this type of thinking unfair to single parents out there, but people could be missing out on someone great just because of a few negative, preconceived notions.
Most “dating experts” focus solely on the matchmaking and attraction aspects of their services. They find two people with similar interests, get them together and let them run free in the wind. Simple enough, right? Then why is it that so many wonderful women who get set up with a great guy, do very well during the initial phases of the relationship, only to end up getting burned by little, flying chunks of Goodyear as the guy they want peels down the road towards the sunset and his next girlfriend?
Dating can be difficult, but meeting the right kind of people can be even harder. Here is a compilation of all the local singles events in the Twin Cities to help you get out there and meet other singles. 1) Speed Dating events - You'll meet up to a dozen other single professionals face-to-face in your age and interest group through a series of six minute "Pre-Dates" at a local club, café, or restaurant. They facilitate the whole thing so there's no awkwardness, no pressure, no embarrassment and no games... just great fun! Pre-Dating then emails each guest a list of participants who would like to hear from them again! Odds are you'll have one or more matches (more than two-thirds of Pre-Daters match with at least one person). Remember, now there's a better way. Before you date...Pre-Date!
2) Lock and Key Events - How it all works:
- Your goal is to match the right lock with the right key
- Do it and get a ticket for the prize drawing, more tickets = more chances to win!
- You then get a new lock or key and go back into the fray to repeat the process
- Find someone you like, stay and talk for a bit! Exchange contact info if you like.
- Throughout your quest you'll meet 50, 100 or more people of the opposite sex.
3) Twin Cities Northeast Social - This group is specifically designed for anyone to attend a wide range of events in the North East Metro Areas. Members range from 20's to mid-60's+. If you'd like to have fun at events, meet new and fun people, then you've come to the right place. Members consist of lively, active and fun people. Although most members are single., you don't need to be single to join the group. Some of the events are going to be with other groups as "joint events". We will be always on the look-out for new events in the North Eastern area!
4) Like wine? Check out Wine Events. This website has a list of upcoming Wine & Food Events for Minneapolis-St.Paul.
5) Single and a parent? Parents without Partners is a great place to meet other parents. PWP is the largest international, nonprofit membership organization devoted to the welfare and interests of single parents and their children. Single parents may join one of the many chapter around the US and Canada; they may be male or female, custodial or non-custodial, separated, divorced, widowed or never married.